It’s BACON! (3 ways to cook it)

baconMiracle Max: Sonny, true love is the greatest thing, in the world-except for a nice MLT – mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky, I love that.  ~The Princess Bride

Allow me to disagree.

A BLT is the greatest thing in the world. And Thud agrees with me. The main character may be a cop, but Sam Vimes’ favorite food is not doughnuts but bacon. And I couldn’t agree more! So, I’m devoting this blog to BACON! Because I can.

This blog will cover the three different ways to cook it, and then a few ideas how to eat it. (All by itself is a perfectly valid option.) So, here we go:

Method 1: Stove top

The time honored stove-top method. Plop the bacon on a skillet and cook to desired crispy-ness. This can only cook 4-5 pieces at a time (unless you have an ENORMOUS skillet). Use a non-stick skillet, or your prized food will stick to the pot instead of going into your mouth. (Trombone sounds here: bwa-bwa-bwa) I don’t do this often because scraping bacon off a skillet instead of eating it is depressing.

Method 2: Microwave

This method is great for heating up 3 pieces of bacon for that BLT of yours. (If you want to cook up more at once, go to Method 3: Oven.)

  • Get a dinner plate,
  • Place three layers of paper towels on the plate,
  • Place the three pieces of bacon on that,
  • Put two more paper towels on top.
  • Cook in microwave for 1-2 minutes (depending on your microwave’s settings)
  • The paper towels on the bottom will be SUPER greasy. Flip the entire paper towel sandwich, so the top towels are on the bottom and the bottom on the top. (The bacon will, of course, still be in the middle.)
  • Remove the top layer of greasy paper towels and throw away.
  • Add two new paper towels.
  • Cook in microwave for 1-2 more minutes.
  • Throw away all the paper towels, do NOT throw away the bacon.
  • Eat the bacon.

Obviously this method is not Earth-friendly as it wastes a lot of paper towels.

Method 3: Oven

This is by far my favorite!

  • Heat oven to 350 F.
  • Spread out lots of bacon on a slotted baking sheet.
  • Put another baking sheet underneath to catch all the bacon drippings. (You do NOT want those bacon drippings to pool in the bottom of your oven. They’re flammable. And your oven produces heat. Boom.)
  • Bake until the bacon is the crispy-ness you like. (You’ll have to check your oven every so often, but–let’s be honest–you were going to do that anyway. It’s bacon.)
  • Put out and eat.

Tip for cleaning the baking sheets:

  • Drain the bacon drippings into a coffee mug or something. (Some people freeze bacon drippings to use later in cooking. So I’ve heard. And maybe done. Don’t judge.)
  • Fill a sink with hot, hot water and dump some baking soda in there. Give it a stir.
  • Set the baking sheet into the sink and rub the thing down with a dish rag.
  • It still takes some elbow grease, but the bacon drippings and burnt bacon will come off. And it’s faster than using soap.

Bacon ideas:

  • Just Eat It! (You’re thinking of the song now. I know.)
  • BLT
  • BLAT (Avocado)
  • Sprinkled in Mac & Cheese
  • Sprinkled in Alfredo
  • Topping for a burger

Now I’m hungry …

If you want a free short story while you’re crunchy on that bacon (and not sharing it with me! I see you!), here’s the story.

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