Kitchen Explosion

Or: That time I blew up an experiment at 6:20 in the morning.

Explosion

After reading Killing Gravity, this seemed a perfect Food/Book Pairing to me. What better to pair with the destruction and mayhem of Corey’s story than my own “accidental” Kefir water explosion? (It wasn’t on purpose, I promise.)

What is Kefir water?

It’s carbonated sugar water with good bacteria in it. You know, the good bacteria like in yucky yogurt (that’s it’s name: yucky yogurt). Only in something that tastes like fruit pop. Yum! So, since there was a family member who needed good bacteria and several of us are Lactose Intolerant (no yucky yogurt for us), I decided to experiment with Kefir water.

And it tasted really yummy. I made grape pop, pineapple pop, and coconut pop to which I added lime juice. (Did I forget to mention that the fermentation process adds trace amounts of alcohol? I forgot? Now you know. And yes, the coconut lime pop was delightful.)

So, you ask, what about the explosion? I was promised an explosion!

Right, OK, well, umm, *clears throat*

When the Kefir grains are placed in a jar of sugar water, they eat the sugar and produce carbon dioxide (pop). Well, if someone (not naming names here) accidentally sealed the jar while it was out on the counter … warm …

(Did I mention the grains make carbon dioxide REALLY FAST when they’re warm? I didn’t? Well, they do.)

And that someone *cough, me, cough* mixed the Kefir water with Mango juice …

(Did I mention the grains make carbon dioxide CRAZY FAST when fed mango juice? I didn’t? Well, they do.)

Then, around 6:20 in the morning, the bottle … might … explode.

And I might or might not have been in the bathtub …

My hubby runs into the kitchen as the alarm system calls our house. He answers the phone as I run into the kitchen (now) fully dressed.

Hubby: “I see shattered glass, but it’s not from a window … it looks like it’s coming from the kitchen … ooooooh.” Pause. “We’re fine. My wife just blew up a bottle in the kitchen. No thieves.”

He hangs up the phone and turns to me slowly. “I was just standing there 15 minutes ago!”

Don’t worry, he still loves me. Explosions and all. To be fair, he knew he married an absent-minded professor before I walked down the aisle, so–like I said–we’re good.

And now you know the story of the exploding kitchen experiment.

Do I still make Kefir water? Sure. The family still has tummy troubles that need good bacteria. But now, whenever I leave the jars out on the countertop, the cork is OFF. And the jar is OPEN. Once in the refrigerator, the reaction slows down, and the sealed jar won’t explode.

I think.

If you’re still interested in checking out Kefir:

Here’s the website I got my supplies from: yemoos.com. It also has instructions on how to make Kefir water the right way. (Not the explosive way.)

Oh, and if you want more of my writing, because (let’s be honest) this post was awesome and you’re dying laughing right now. (Shush. I can dream.) Here’s a short story for free written just for you. (And anyone else who really wants it … what? It’s call full disclosure.)

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